Mouldy Tales

I didn’t really want to talk about this, but I’ve been reading the papers and I just have to.
We were robbed last night. Pierluigi Collina may well be the best referee there ever was, but that doesn’t stop him being an imbecile.

The whole match we’d been all over them (don’t get me started on how much we didn’t deserve to lose the first leg 2-1), fighting and pushing – alright occasionally we looked a bit scraggly and fell back whe we should have ran at them and taken there legs off, but it was a great performance overall.

Simon Daives is a gem and Mikel Arteta’s free kick was outstanding –why didn’t he say he could do that?!!
MoM – Nigel Martyn for an awesome performance, he entirely deserves his place in the England squad.

When Duncan scored, we went mental – when it was disallowed, we went very very quite. Benty had done nothing wrong – how can you be stopping a defender from defending when you’re both very far behind the ball? Moreover, the flaming long-haired tart was pulling Benty’s shirt, not the other way around….

I was close to tears when their goal went in on the 94th minute, no I wasn’t close to tears, there were tears. They’d played so well and had so much heart. I love Everton and I can’t wait till next season where we will definitely get another go at them – and then rip their legs off.

Don’t dwell.
Just bring out the Dunc.

At work I do everything at my desk, am seldom disturbed and don’t really use the phone, so I’ve always got one headphone in and Xfm on the Radio (Keavney’s a legend). My headphones are of the kind that loop round and over your ear, and they’re white (white being cheaper than black for some mental reason).

One day, my radio ran out of batteries, and rather than sit like a spanner with one earphone in, I removed it.
On going into the kitchen, everyone started speaking very loudly and gesturing hugely.

Turns out they all thought I was deaf in one ear and that my headphones were a hearing aid.

I miss inane conversation. Perhaps it's because I'm growing old (after all at 24, I'm middle middle aged), but I don't seem to have as many daft conversations as I used to have.

I remember one in particular where we were discussing what was so great about Unicorn's anyway and shouldn't they be called UniHorns? Someone's take was that their blood gave life (this was bellowed down because they'd nicked it from JK Rowling), the conversation swung to how in Thundercats, someone remembered Unicorns giving silver rings off their horns to Liono... but why? And how? And was it actually She-Raa?

When it come to Unicorns, where are they anyway? Did Noah not have enough room on his boat? how big was the boat, and did why let funnel-web spiders on?! Surely if it was too big, it wouldn't have floated, not with all those animals on it.
Speaking of boats, would it be possible to make a boat entirely out of crisp packets? If so, what brand would make the best boat? Which the fastest and which the prettiest? Do tubes of Pringles count as crisp packets?

....

I realised today that I would have preffered to keep my blog anonymous in order to share deep thoughts that may otherwise get me into trouble. Stupidly, before I had even started blogging I commented on a friend of mine's page (Hi Dan). Then more of my friends said hello, or noticed my blog and now I feel censored stifled and stilted.

My own fault, I shouldn't bitch. Really I shouldn't. I'll stop now.

So, this weekend was a stormer. If you like boardgames and cheese. Although I did play Cluedo, Pictionary and Cranium until 5 in the morning. And a game of cards that I can't really remember the rules to, but I do know i kept all my clothes on. in the end, the boys beat the girls 4 games to one. And they both won at Cluedo as well. I think they were distracting us with their manly wiles. That's wiles, not willies.

Then i went home, ate lots of stilton, passed out on the floor and stayed there till Sunday.

On Sunday I cleaned our pigsty of a home and now it's beautiful and lovely and everyone should come and look at it!

But take your shoes off, use a coaster and - for the love of jehovah don't touch that!

Oh lordy.

Mid-week drinking. What a spunking stupid thing to do.